Coffee, Black

by Tami McManus

I shifted my weight on the stool and wished that hips didn't hurt so much when they wore out. Should I take another pain pill? When Arden walked through the bakery door, I stopped wondering and grabbed for the bottle.

"Good morning, Lillian." Arden smiled. I imagined it was the same smile wild animals gave prey before they ate them.

"Hello." I eased my old hips off the stool. Arden had the same thing every day – a blueberry muffin and coffee, black.

"You're just about due for your inspection." He took the cup and bag. "I bet business is really picking up with those new condos across the street." He winked at me and I fantasized I was young enough to grab him by the collar and give him a good shake.

"Those young kids all drive downtown to the fancy coffee houses." We both knew I was lying. "Bye." I settled back on my stool and watched him leave.

Arden 's morning visit always put my blood pressure through the roof. His shiny little health inspector badge entitled him to free coffee and muffins. It entitled him to a fat little envelope of cash each month. Now, he was hinting at a "raise". I would say that I hated Arden , but hate wasn't a strong enough word.

For thirty-five years, I'd owned the bakery. Other than a beautiful granddaughter, Kayla, it was the only thing I had. The last few years had been rough, but the neighborhood was coming back to life and the bakery was doing well. I'd lined Arden 's pockets for long enough. I didn't know how much longer I could run things and I sure as hell didn't want Kayla to have to spend her life under the thumb of a sleazy inspector. It was time to do something, but what?

***

I flipped the open sign in the front window and unlocked the door. Angela stood on the dark sidewalk. That could only mean one thing – gossip. Nothing happened in the neighborhood that Angela didn't know about.

"It's cold out there!" She stomped her feet to get the blood flowing.

"Let's sit in the kitchen. That'll warm you up." I headed behind the counter and grabbed two cups of coffee. Angela followed me into the kitchen and grabbed a cinnamon roll from a tall metal rack. They were still warm and the kitchen smelled like heaven.

"So what are you doing out so early?" I grabbed a warm donut and we sat down at the little table we used for breaks.

"Oh, I've got a lot to do today. Thought I'd get an early start." Angela offered details of the big day ahead and I waited patiently for whatever dirt had inspired her to get up before the crack of dawn.

"I was over to Bob and Caroline's for dinner last night."

"Yeah? How are they?"

"Not so good." Arden closed them down. He barged right in during the dinner rush and just kicked everyone out." Angela leaned back in her chair and sipped from her coffee cup.

"You're kidding!" Bob and Caroline had the cleanest kitchen I'd ever seen.

"I don't think they're even going to try to re-open. Arden 's bled them dry." Angela leaned forward. "They filed a complaint against him last week."

"Well, that explains it." Half of Arden 's family held some political office or another. He may have been the black sheep, but no one wanted to see their name on the front page of the paper because of his antics.

"Are you going to be okay if they close for good?"

"I don't know." It was a valid question. Bob and Caroline bought all their baked goods from me. Between loosing their business and Arden wrangling for more money, I could be in real trouble. "I just don't know."

Inspiration came later that night from a bad cable movie. At first it played out like a fantasy. I mean I couldn't really kill him. Or could I?

I thought of Kayla. She was so bright. Almost finished with college, she had her whole life in front of her. She shared my love of the bakery and her dream was to run it when I finally admitted I couldn't. The thought of her having to fudge the books to cover the cash payments to a corrupt inspector broke my heart. I'd done what I had to, but I wanted better for Kayla.

I snuck down to the basement. There was no reason to sneak. Kayla was out with friends. Maybe everyone sneaks around when planning a murder.

After rifling through the musty shelves, I found it. The fact that I even had a bottle of antifreeze was a little sad. I hadn't owned a car in years. Did antifreeze go bad? I carefully poured some in a coffee cup. How much was enough?

Trying not to think about what I was doing, I snuck into the kitchen. I tucked the cup under the sink.

Back upstairs, I crawled into bed. I spent the night staring at the ceiling. Maybe I had lost my mind. What was I thinking? I went back and forth. I could do it. I couldn't do it. I didn't know.

***

"Good morning." Arden smiled.

I mumbled hello and reached into the bakery case for his muffin. It was one thing to fantasize about killing someone, but now, in the light of day, I knew I couldn't do it.

"Too bad about Bob and Caroline's, huh?" Arden 's smile turned into a full-blown smirk. It was too much – one last taunt to push me over the edge.

"Yup." I pretended to look around for the large coffee cups. "Guess I'm out of cups. Be right back." I walked into the kitchen and pulled the murderous cup from its hiding place.

"People just don't have any respect for authority anymore." He rattled on while I poured coffee into the cup. "You won't make that mistake, will you Lillian?"

I handed him the muffin and coffee. "No, I won't make that mistake." For the first time in years, I flashed him a smile.

The rest of the day passed in a haze. I couldn't believe that I had done it. What if he died? What if he didn't? What if someone found out? I paced behind the bakery counter despite the pain in my hip. Several regular customers asked if I was okay. When Kayla came home from class, she sent me to bed. I didn't argue.

The next day was worse. For the second night in a row, I hadn't slept. I expected Angela to be waiting in the morning with news of Arden 's sudden demise. The doorstep was empty when I opened.

By 11:30, I knew Arden wasn't coming in. But what did that mean? Was he dead? Was he in the hospital with doctors rushing to save his life? I worried myself sick.

The next day, Kayla skipped class and I stayed in bed. It was late afternoon when I heard a soft rap at the door.

"Lil? You awake?"

"Yeah."

"Kayla says you're not feeling well?" Angela slipped into my bedroom.

"It's just a touch of the stomach flu. Kayla worries too much." I tried to look nonchalant. It's hard to do when you have to think about it.

"Well, I don't want to keep you from your rest, but..."

"It's alright. What's going on?"

"I thought some good news might help your recovery." Angela grinned like a schoolgirl. " Arden 's dead!"

"Yeah?" I went numb. I was a murderer.

"They found him in his apartment this morning. Not sure what happened, but I thought you'd want to know." Angela stared at me. "You really don't look good. I'll let you get back to your nap."

"Thanks." I rolled over and waited for the door to close before letting the tears flow.

I stayed in bed for a week, trying to come to terms with what I had done. I seemed to be the only one who cared. No one asked any questions. Arden was buried quietly. According to Angela, most of his family didn't even attend the funeral. Maybe getting away with it made it worse.

I busied myself with the bakery to forget. Kayla would graduate next month and I planned to sign the bakery over to her as a graduation gift. Bob and Caroline planned to reopen the restaurant, so business looked good.

***

"Lillian Rosen?" A young blonde in a business suit approached the counter.

"Yes?"

"I'm Lisa Johansen." Lisa offered her hand and I took it.

"What can I do for you, Lisa?"

"I'm your new health inspector." She flashed her shiny badge. I couldn't help but notice that she didn't have a briefcase. Or a clipboard. Just a small purse that couldn't possibly hold any forms.

"Nice to meet you, Lisa." My gut said otherwise.

"I used to be Arden 's assistant." She paused and stared me right in the eyes. " Arden kept very detailed records."

I slumped down on my stool behind the counter.

"Why don't we just start with the same arrangement you and Arden had..."